The good thing about Regret

Have you ever noticed how “regret” has turned into a kind of dirty word in our current culture?  All you have to do is look up quotes about regret and you’ll find endless nuggets of wisdom from philosophers, actors, authors, and other “life experts” telling you things like “life’s too short for regrets” and “there are no mistakes in life, only lessons”, or the ultra ego-centric “your regrets aren’t what you did do, but what you didn’t do”, basically giving you permission to regret only that which you didn’t get around to rather than admitting to any regret over your past actions or words.

While I understand the optimistic sentiment behind most of these mantras (“don’t let your past keep you from moving forward” or “our mistakes make us who we are”, etc., etc.) we can’t escape the truth that “feeling bad” about something is sometimes good.  I will concede that it is never beneficial to wallow in our regrets.  However, feeling regret over our past actions or decisions is a healthy part of our humanity.  When examined with the right attitude, regret should be viewed as an ability, not a weakness of character.  The ability to feel regret can be a powerful reminder that we were created with a soul and a conscience.  Unlike animals, humans have the ability to express empathy for others and to make moral choices rather than purely being driven by instincts of self-preservation.  If we are to be 100% honest with ourselves, every person on earth (with the exception of Jesus Christ) has done something, at some point in our lives, that we should regret. Denying any feeling of regret is to deny responsibility for our choices, and in a broader sense, denies our own humanity.  Life may be too short for regrets, but eternity is too long without them.

“The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.” – H.L. Mencken

Copyright © 2013 Andrea Jarrett, All rights reserved.